All the pretty little horses
by everfaithful
Summary: Sam has a song stuck in his head and its drivng Dean crazy. Especially when it triggers dreams about thier past and takes them down roads Dean doesnt want to travel. Not my toys. I just play with them. please R
1. All the pretty little horses

All the pretty little horses.

Sam was tired. He stared out the window into the darkness, as the miles flew by, punctuated by green reflective mile markers, coming faster than the speed limit on the back roads would normally dictate.

Dean was pissed, and that usually meant loud music and speeding down the winding back roads so that he could feel ( even if he couldn't hear over the music) the rumbling of the Impala's engine. The great black beast that held more sway over Sam's brother than any woman ever could.

They had done nothing but fight for the last thousand miles of winding back roads, and when they weren't fighting, the music was deafening. Sam didn't know how much more of this he could take with out reaching out and strangling his brother.

This wasn't anything new. It was a pattern that had been in place for as long as the brothers could remember. They were used to each others presence. Accustomed to the sights, sounds and smells that came from living together non stop in close quarters. They had spent their entire child hood in close quarters of some sort or another.

Their only reprieve had been the years Sam had spent at school. Then there had been a gaping hole in their world where the other had once stood. Each missing and needing the other but being unwilling to cross that invisible line that had been drawn on the ground.

The line that had been drawn to keep John at bay, even if it meant keeping his brother away too, because Sam saw them as one entity in so many ways. Although the rest of their limited world would have said it was the brothers who were one, and John was the outsider looking in at the strange yet wonderful relationship he had forced his sons to build.

Unfortunately, even in near symbiotic relationships, critical mass could, and would be achieved. It had happened often over the years. That one moment, one miniscule moment that crossed the line into TOO MUCH. One too many taps on the steering wheel, one too many clicks of the computer keys, One too many cold showers, with longish dark hairs still littering the drain and they were there. Critical Mass. Sustained nuclear chain reaction.

This time it was music that had been the catalyst for the explosion and all its subsequent radioactive heat. One stupid little song. It didn't help that he couldn't get that song out of his head. Any time there was silence, it played in Sam's head like his own personal sound track. A lullaby, of all things. For three days running the song had tormented, and strangely soothed him. Sam was betting that his brother wasn't getting the soothing quality of the little ditty at all.

It had started to plague his dreams too. When he slept he saw a face that he didn't recognize, bending over him, tickling his nose with long dark tendrils of hair. Tiny hands, presumably his own, reaching up to grasp long earrings that peeked out from the dark tresses.

This was not his mother. Mary was bright and golden. He had no memories of his mother from his infancy. Was this someone else's memory? Another of the children like him? His visions were always tied to them, or the demon somehow. Was this one that was yet to lose his mother? Was the woman with the soothing voice still alive or had she already met her end in terror and flames.

Hushabye, don't you cry. Go to sleep my little baby. When you wake you shall have all the pretty little horses.

The voice was familiar. He couldn't shake the feeling that he knew her from somewhere. Was it a dream or a vision? Past, present or future? Was it familiar to him or the child in the dreams? Were they one in the same?

Blacks and bays, Dapples and Grays, Coach and six-a-little horses. When you wake you shall have all the pretty little horses

"That's it" Dean's voice came filtering through his dream, "If I hear that damned lullaby one more time I am gonna kill you." He said and cranked the volume on the impala's stereo to a near ear splitting decibel.

Sam frowned in his sleep, and his face screwed up into an expression that reminded Dean of nothing so much as an angry cat with its ears laid back against its head. He half expected his younger brother to hiss and spit.

On a stormy sea of moving emotion (hushabye don't you cry, go to sleep my little baby)  
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean  
I set a course for winds of fortune (when you wake you shall have)  
But I hear the voices say(all the pretty little horses)

"_Its okay, Dean, Sammy's alright see? He's just too tired is all." The woman said, looking down at Sam with large dark eyes. _

"_no he's not. He's afraid to dream" Dean told her, with a strange amount of wisdom and authority for a 4 year old. _

"_Are you afraid to dream too?" she asked, not arguing with the boy on such matters as his little brother. Dean Winchester was an expert in all things Sam. Anyone who had spent any time around the boy at all knew that. Even John refrained from arguing with the child. But then, John was barely in the land of the living these days himself. _

_Dean shook his little head, blonde hair shaking in a shaggy mop "When I dream I see my mom."_

_The dark haired woman reached out to stroke that hair, and smiled sadly. "well, lets get you into bed, and to sleep. Dreams only come when you are sleeping. "_

"_is that why Daddy sleeps so much when he's here? Cause he misses mommy too?" Dean asked. _

"_I think so Honey. He loves your mommy very much. It's hard to be away from someone when you love them that much."_

"_He doesn't smile anymore."_

"_He will again. Come on, off to bed with you, I'll tuck Sammy in tonight since he is being stubborn. "_

_Dean gave her a wary glance, but finally nodded "Okay… but don't let him stay up too late. He'll be way cranky tomorrow" He said and climbed up into the top bunk of the RV, positioned above the drivers seat. "Is Daddy coming back soon. I miss him. "_

"_Soon" she said. "He'll be back soon." She said as she pulled the covers up around the boy with her free hand, then held the infant Sammy up for Dean to kiss goodnight. She turned out the lights and sat down at the small table, rocking the child in her arms, and singing softly the promise of horses, laughing as she removed his tiny hands from her earrings. _

Dean tossed a mostly empty drink cup at his brother, bouncing it off of his forehead "I mean it knock it off" he said as Sam woke "you have been humming or singing that song for days. Even in your sleep! What is it going to take to purge that damned thing?"

Sam wiped at his forehead where the cup had struck and scowled at his brother. "I don't know. I think it's a memory of some sort. I was dreaming of this woman… dark hair, in this … camper or trailer or something. Dad had left us with her…"

"How do you remember that when I barely remember that?" He asked with a scowl "I wouldn't even remember that the woman had dark hair if you hadn't just said it. That is … that is wierd, Sammy. Even for you. "

"She's real?" Sam asked, and smiled a little "She used to sing that song to me to get me to sleep."

"you didn't sleep so well back then" Dean said frowning a little at the memory "I think you had night mares then too."

"Why am I dreaming of her now?"

"I don't know, Sam. Might just be a dream. People have 'em all the time."

"I don't. Not like this. "

"you think we need to find her?"

"I don't know. " he said as he reached for his cell phone "But I cant help feeling that this is important some how."

"I don't even remember her name." Dean pointed out as he took the next exit. Sam wasn't the only one in need of a nap, and Dean needed a beer, maybe a few hours away from Sammy and in the company of a real girl, not some dream chick, or his strangely girly brother.

"yeah but I think I know someone who might. " Sam said as he dialed Missouri Moseley's number.

Dean rolled his eyes "Don't blame me if she psychically kicks your ass for calling this late" He almost smiled then, liking the idea of Sam getting an ass chewing from Missouri. Who else would he be calling. No one else knew them back when their mother first died.

"Samuel Winchester, do you have any idea what time it is here in Kansas" She said answering the phone before the first ring was more than a blip.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about it" He said giving Dean a sheepish grin

"I told you!" Dean said grinning at the road ahead, and following the exits toward food and beer. Lodgings were just a fringe benefit right then.

"I ahm actually had a question for you. Back when Mom first died, was there a woman that Dad used to leave us with. Lived in an RV… " Sam asked.

"Why you askin' about something like that?"

"I'm dreaming about her, do you know who she is?"

"She was your Mama's best friend." Missouri said with a sigh " Cassandra Martin.Bit of a late blooming hippie type. New Age, gypsy wanna be. I don't know that you're gonna have any luck finding her unless she has changed dramatically. She never was one to stay in one place for long. Not once your mama was gone."

"Okay… Is there anything else we need to know about her? You know… what kind of person she was… is…"

"She was alright. Not my cup of tea, but she was a good friend to your Mama, and to your Daddy after that night, took him under her wing for a while there. She figured she owed it to Mary to look after the three of you. She was into witchcraft but I never got the impression there was anything dark there. Couldn't even tell you if she was the real deal or just another believer."

"Thanks Missouri. I appreciate it." Even though he wasn't sure that would give them much to go on.

Half an hour later Dean was unlocking the latest in a long string of hotel rooms. "Look, all I'm sayin' is we don't know that this is something we need to do anything about. It could be nothing more than a memory. Yeah its freakish that you remember something from before your first birthday, but we've always known you were a freak."

Sam sighed, and scowled at his brother. "I know, you're probably right, but… I just cant shake the feeling that its important some how."

"well, we aren't going to figure anything out tonight. Sleep on it and we'll see how you feel in the morning." That wasn't a time of his life that Dean wanted to revisit. Too much pain, and loss. And no matter how good a friend that woman had been, or how good a baby sitter, she was still part of that time.

Sam gave Dean a long suffering look and stood, making his way toward the shower

"Not on your life, pal, back away from the hot water and no one gets hurt" Dean said as he pulled out clean clothes from his back .

"Dean" Sam said, frustration evident in his tone again.

"Don't Dean me, there is a bar down the road a ways, and I plan to go have a few drinks, maybe get a little lucky, and definitely … DEFINITELY get the hell away from you and your freakish lullabye fixation. So – move it college boy. Showers mine."

Sam rolled his eyes and went to set up his computer figuring he would have to wait a while for hot water anyway "Its not a fixation." He growled.

"You keep tellin' yourself that. But you start spouting the barney song and I'm putting you down like a rabid dog" Dean said as he closed and locked the bathroom door behind him.

Sam settled into his research, and didn't do anything more than give Dean a half hearted glare as his older brother left the hotel room. "Cassandra Martin" he murmured "Why am I dreaming about you?" He didn't think it was a vision. There was no death, no fear, certainly no blinding pain. But it wasn't a dream either, of that he was certain.

He started his search in Kansas, He looked in the high school alumni records finding John Winchester and Mary O'Neill. The archives of the school paper going back to the late 70s revealed his parents standing next to another young couple, Cassandra Durant and Samuel Martin.

"wow." He breathed. He wondered why his father had never mentioned the man that he was named for, but figured it was just another one of his fathers many secrets. He could only assume that Samuel and Cassandra had gotten married at some point along the way.

He dug deeper, finding wedding announcements for both couples in the news paper several months apart. He had never known his parents anniversary before. John had never wanted to talk about it and Sam had never wanted to bring that look of absolute sorrow to his eyes. His fathers pain had been enough to quench his curiosity.

It was 3am when Dean returned from the bar. Time away from Sam, breathing in his own air, listening to the prattle of strangers that didn't know all his secrets, or his buttons, had eased up the tension Dean had been feeling for days. A couple hours in the company of a beautiful woman who didn't ask too many questions beyond where did he get his awesome car hadn't hurt either.

He shook his head as he closed the lap top, careful not to shut it down in the process cause he was sure Sam had fallen asleep mid research. "Come on, Sam, lets call it a night." He said as he pulled his brother up by one arm.

Sam stirred a little, Seeing it was Dean. " 'm'alright" He said as he reached up to wipe the sleep from his eyes, all the while letting Dean lead him over to the bed.

"I know y'are." Dean said "But its time for all good Sasquatches to be in bed. Just no lullabies. "

"I'm named after her husband… dead husband" Sam said as he crawled into bed obediently, leaving Dean wishing the guy would listen this well when he wasn't half asleep.

"Congratulations. Go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning." Dean told him, and turned out the light before going back to the computer and settling in to look over Sam's research. It wasn't until he heard Sam's faint snores that he saved the work and turned off the computer.

This still looked like nothing more than old memories coming to the surface. All of Sam's digging had done little more than unearth a past that their father had buried along with their mother.

What did all the little normal details matter now? His parents were gone and he could see no sense in digging up who their best friends had been and what bowling league they had belonged to. He couldn't even imagine his father doing normal things now. That John Winchester had died in the flames with his wife. This all had nothing to do with them now. He wished Sammy would leave it alone. But since that was as likely to happen as Dean painting the impala pink, he would have to help him wade through it and get to the other side.

Dean climbed into bed and stared at Sammy in the darkness. Dean remembered little things about his life before the fire. He remembered his parents tucking him in. Remembered the nightly ritual of everyone coming in to say good night to baby Sam. He remembered his mother telling him that Angels were watching over them. But those weren't substantial memories. They were flashes against the screen, like subliminal text in the back ground.

His first real memory…the first memory of importance was his father handing him Sam and telling him to run. From that day on Sam was his. His parents might have created Sam, but that was all. Dean had been there every night to tuck him in when he was little, had helped him with his homework, and nursed him through his first broken heart… and the last he supposed. Dean had been the one to teach him to tie his shoes, to ride a bike. He had taught him to swim and how not to burn the kitchen down when he cooked. It had been Dean who watched on anxiously as his brother shaved for the first time, and when he had gotten ready for his first date. It wasn't that their father didn't care. John cared more for Sam than he had for anyone since their mother. Only an idiot, (or Sam) couldn't see that. It was that strong emotion… the warm and fuzzy kind had scared their father in ways that no demon could. If John loved again, then John could lose again.

Dean got that.

Sam never did.

He had been as against Sammy going to college as his father had. Dean had been worried that Sam would get in over his head out there in the big bad world of normal people. It was the normal people that you had to watch out for. A demon just played on the hurts you already had. It was people that gave them the ammunition. And all this stuff that Sam was digging up, Dean just saw it as more ammunition.

He closed his eyes eventually, willing the brain to shut down, willing the worry for his brother to fade into the back of his mind, where he always kept it when it was interfering in what he had to do.

Dean drifted off to sleep. He would have been horrified to know that he was rocking gently, humming a song just a little off key. A song about horses.


	2. white rabbit

Sam awoke early and started packing, while Dean slept. He knew his brother wasn't thrilled with his search into their own past. He understood why. Dean had wisps of memories from when things were normal in their family. He remembered their mother tucking him in at night, remembered when their father liked to play ball and laugh about things in life. For Dean this was bring up something he had put behind him as surely as his father had. Because to remember was to bring the pain back.

For Sam this was something different. He didn't know if it was that it was a part of his past that he had no connection to, or if it was because it was plaguing his dreams and he had to sort it all out before it started to drive him insane. But he was being driven, of that he was certain.

"come on man, Wake up" He said shaking his brother. "I'm gonna go grab breakfast but then we're on the road. "

Dean groaned and rubbed his eyes "Why? You find us a job somewhere? "

"I think a job found us. "Sam said as he picked up the keys to the impala.

"you cant be serious" Dean said as his brother headed out the door. He glanced around the room at everything packed away "He's serious" he muttered with a groan and slumped back against the pillows.

They were on the road to Kansas an hour later. Sam was driving so that Dean could catch up on his sleep, not that Dean was sleeping. Dean was fighting sleep and he was fighting Sam. "I don't see where this could possibly be a good thing. " he grumbled.

"Well… it might get this damned song out of my head." Sam pointed out. "Cause nothing else has done it, and we don't know that this isn't a vision."

"none of your other visions have worked like this. They've all been about things that were happening or going to happen. Why the hell would you have visions about the past."

" I don't know, Dean, but these weren't normal dreams." He insisted. "no one dreams about when they were 8 months old." Sam shook his head "I don't even dream about Mom dying… which I saw happen… so why would I have this stuck in my subconscious 23 years later."

"Fine… we'll go with the assumption that these … dreams … are important. Why the hell are we going back to Kansas?"

"Because that's the last place I could trace her on the internet"

"20 some odd years ago" Dean interjected.

'yeah well… gotta start somewhere." Sam said as he changed the tape in the player "get some rest. I'll wake you up "

"you wont have to, your driving makes me nauseated." Dean closed his eyes, and was asleep mere minutes later.

_John laughed. It was a sound that had always brought a smile to her face, no matter the circumstance. The sound of her John laughing. It was a quiet sort of laugh. The sort of thing that you had to listen closely for if you weren't looking at his face. But if you could see him, there was no doubt. It always seemed to reach his eyes, lighting up his face, and to Mary, the room around them as well. _

_She couldn't remember ever being this happy. The upcoming birth of their first born child had them both anxious, and elated. The entire world seemed to glow. "And you" she said looking over at her dearest friend "you sitting there looking so smug, You know what they're up to don't you" _

_Cassandra laughed as she rocked her own child in her arms. "I wouldn't have the foggiest idea"she said "you get Sam and John together … plotting… and the world may very soon be coming to an end." She looked at her daughter "Yes, Daddy and Uncle John are rotten, yes they are." _

_John shook his head "There's gratitude for you" he teased. "the last time we got together didn't we fix up your parents old RV for you?"_

"_It looks like a white bunny rabbit or something" Cassandra laughed "The way its painted I swear I'm hauling a giant easter bunny behind me."_

"_You're the one that wanted it white dearest" Samuel Martin stated. _

"_I didn't say paint whiskers and a pink nose on it." She said in return. _

_John laughed again. Shaking his head "That wasn't me. "_

_Mary raised an eyebrow at him as if to say it may as well have been, and rested a hand over her stomach "I think this little guy is protesting as well. "_

"_nah, he's just protesting the music" John said and rose to go change it "Since when did you turn into a Lionel Ritchie Fan?" He asked looking at the other couple. _

"_When Grace started crying at KISS. " Sam said. _

"_I'd cry at KISS" John said and looked through the album collection, before putting on something a little more his speed. _

"_so are you sure it's a boy?" Cassandra asked. _

"_Well the ultrasound was inconclusive, but I am pretty sure." Mary answered. _

"_you know there is another way to tell."_

"_oh here we go again. More of her old wives tales." Sam said rolling his eyes. _

"_It worked with Grace didn't it" Cassandra said as she went for some string _

"_Oh please, there was a 50/50 chance, Cass. Not a shock when it gets it right by accident. Even a broken clock is right twice a day."_

"_oooh not only a skeptic but a philosopher as well" Cassandra told them, and handed her daughter off to her husband "Why don't you go and tuck her into bed since you are such a disbeliever"_

"_okay, so what are you doing to my wife, woman?" John asked as he came to sit closer. _

"_well, you need to put your wedding ring on the string, and hold it over your upturned wrist."_

_Mary laughed a little "okay. Whats it supposed to do." She asked as she prepared the ring and held it by the string over her wrist. _

"_If it goes up and down, it's a boy, side to side it's a girl, it will circle inbetween"_

"_inbetween? I'm only having one" _

"_well according to my mother this will tell you how many you will have and in what order. Personally I don't have that much faith"_

_The ring began to move in wide circles around Mary's wrist, coming in closer and closer until it moved in a straight line up and down several times then began to circle again, circling 4 times, then again with a straight line. _

"_two sons, congratulations. " Cassandra said, taking a long drink off of her beer. _

"_Yeah will I'm not sure I believe in all of-" Mary's words were cut off by a scream, and she got up from the chair , back pedaling away from the window, so fast she would have fallen over if John hadn't caught her. _

"_what is it?" John asked. _

"_I-I saw something outside the window… Oh John… I saw eyes… just… just eyes" _

_Red eyes. _

"_Its okay, honey, its okay " John said, taking her over to the sofa "Sam, come on… you got a prowler outside."_

"_John- let it go." Cassandra said as she went to a small table in the northern corner of her living room and folded back an altar cloth. _

"_Cass… I don't care what your beliefs are personally, but Mare saw someone outside, I don't think a few rituals are gonna help"_

"_Whats going on?" Sam Martin asked coming down the stairs quickly. _

"_Mary saw someone outside the window there" John said impatiently, as he headed for the door. _

"_I'll keep an eye on him, don't worry" Sam told his wife._

"_Sam…she only saw eyes"_

_The man nodded and grabbed his jacket on the way out after John Winchester. _

_Cassandra started walking around the large single room lower floor of the farm house, putting a line of salt at the windows and doors. _

"_What are you doing?" Mary asked, laughing a little nervously._

"_Oh chasing away a few nightmares for myself later" She told her friend "Another of my old wives tales. Sam says it doesn't do anything, but it does. It makes me stop shaking and I guess I can deal with a little embarrassment for that." _

_Mary could tell it was more than that. Probably one of Cassandra's little witchcraft things. The brunette had gotten into it in high school and Mary had thought it just a phase she was going through. Apparently she had been wrong. "oh God, " Mary gasped "That smell… what is that… Rotten eggs?" _

_Cassandra ran up the stairs, nearly falling on the way._

"_Cass? What the devil-?" Mary demanded, not seeing the shudder running through her friend at her choice of words. _

"_Stay down there, Mary, I'll be right back" Cassandra managed to get out as she hurried into her daughters room. "oh thank god" she breathed and picked up the small child still sleeping peacefully._

_Carrying the child with her she continued to lay salt at the windows. Trembling a little as she found the traces of sulfur left behind along one window sill. _

"_Cass?" Mary called up the stairs._

_Cassandra started back down then "its nothing. This house is ancient I swear, and sometimes we get the most amazing smells wafting up through the plumbing. I'm gonna have Sam put in a new septic tank after the harvest" She looked out the front window "I wonder where the boys are."_

Dean awoke with a start.

"Dude, you alright?" Sam asked looking over at his older brother, only to be rewarded with a glare.

"You know what… I blame you. All this talk about dreams now you've got me having cracked out dreams about things that I have no business dreaming about."

"You had a dream?" Sam asked.

"Of course I had a dream, Sam. Everyone has dreams." Dean said impatiently.

"But this one is my fault?" He couldn't help grinning at his brother with that one, and getting another glare in return. "What?" Sam asked with a laugh.

"you've been talking non stop about this Cassandra woman and now you have me dreaming about her." He told Sam, "And I can tell you it was nothing but hogwash, cause I wasn't even born yet in this dream. Mom was carrying me I think."

"Well, you were alive at the time, its possible. There's a theory that-"

"Sammy, don't start." He said firmly. He didn't want to think about that dream possibly being real. For starters he didn't want anything to do with visions, past present or future. Second, he didn't want to think about his mother having been stalked by some Demon for more than 4 years before her death. "So where the hell are we."

"Just left Kansas City. We'll be to Lawrence soon"

Dean sighed "Everything always seems to bring us back here."

"Yeah I know. " Sam told him "The farm they had… the martins… was out toward Cotton Wood Falls. I figured we would get a room for the night some where between here and there. "

"They knew" Dean said, starting to toy with the idea of the dream being real.

"Who knew what?"

"That Cassandra woman and her husband. They knew what's really out there." Dean shook his head "I cant believe I am actually entertaining the idea that this is all real. I'm not the psychic. You are. "

"maybe the dreams aren't so much visions… as … sendings" Sam suggested

"Yeah but aren't sendings something you normally get from dead people, or people in a coma or something? "

"Generally speaking, yeah"

" And someone we havent seen since you were in diapers is sending for us?"

" I didn't say I understood it. Just that it's a possibility. Its possible that because of my visions I could pick up on it easily "

"Or attract it" Dean said with a scowl, "Dude, I am so kicking your ass for this… From now on you do all the sleeping. "

Sam laughed. "Yeah, that's gonna work. " he said as he took the next exit. "So what all happened in that dream that I am getting blamed for?"

Dean described the dream to him in as much detail as possible. "Mom was scared. What ever she saw in that window really scared her."

"Cant say I'm surprised. Especially if that was her first encounter with anything supernatural. I agree it does seem like Cassandra and that Sam guy knew what was going on. Do you think they were the ones that introduced Dad to hunting?"

"Don't know. Not getting hunter vibes, just in the know vibes, ya know?"

Sam nodded. They had encountered people before that knew but didn't hunt. They weren't that common really. Generally once you knew it was because the darkness had taken something from you that you couldn't get back. "I still don't understand why all this is important for us to see."

"Don't know. Is there some way to get in contact with what ever is sending these dreams? Maybe ask some questions?"

"I don't know. Lucid dreaming is one thing…but it's a little hard to ask the questions when we're too little to speak in the dream. Cant hurt to try I guess. "

"good. You do that. Cause I am not up for anymore freaky ass dreams about people I don't even remember."

Sam chuckled as he pulled into the hotel parking lot "Not sure either of us has a choice in that, bro." He grinned at Dean as he got another scowl "you know your face is gonna freeze like that one day"

"shut up Bitch" Dean said as he got out of the car.

"Whatever Jerk. You get to go pick up dinner. " he told him as he entered the lobby to get their room.

Dean was more than happy to get behind the steering wheel again. This whole situation was making him nuts. He hated coming back to Kansas. He didn't know why it bothered him so much. He barely remembered anything at all about this place. Nothing about Cottonwood falls. But Lawrence itself… that was just a lot of memories of his parents and Sammy. The house. Not the city itself. He knew he had gone to the park with his parents but he couldn't tell you where. Couldn't remember what it looked like. But still this place tugged at him pulling him down as though it could make him as flat as the terrain.

He chose a diner, parking the car and just sitting there, listening to the song playing, trying to steal some of his energy back from the heaving throbbing beat. He was here for Sam. He would do what he needed to do to make this go away as soon as possible so that he could get back to his life away from Kansas. Away from the memories.

He entered the diner with a sigh and approached the bar. "hey," he said with his best winning smile. "Whats good today?" He asked.

"Everything" The girl behind the counter said "But today I would recommend the pot roast."

"Right on, make it two to go…and a couple soda's too." Dean said as he took a seat at the counter.

The waitress came back a couple of minutes later. "So I haven't seen you around here before, and in a town this size, that says something."

"Yeah, m'brother and I are just passing through. We were gonna drop in on some friends of our folks though. The Martin's… they had a farm out here when we were kids."

"I know that place" She said "Although its just Mrs Martin when she is in town. Which isn't often these days. Its been a while since you were in town if you were looking for both of them. "

"well, I was … pretty young. My father passed recently and we were wanting to tell his friends in person since we were coming this way. I guess I was about 3 or 4 last time I actually talked to them. "

"Yeah it was a big deal back in the day. " she leaned in closer. She was a few years older than Dean, but that didn't seem to deter her interest. "I was a kid at the time. Their little girl, Grace, she disappeared one day. Just gone in the middle of the night. Mrs. Martin was out of town visiting friends and it was just Mr. Martin and the baby. " She lowered her voice and looked around to make sure that no one was listening. "They never found any sign of foul play at all. Were investigating him for the disappearance, but never found any real evidence against him. About 6 months later he disappeared too. Just about destroyed Mrs. Martin. "

"I can imagine. " Dean said "Guess that explains why Dad never talked about the guy really. He mentioned Cassandra a lot though. So where do I find the Martin place?" He asked "Just incase she is home"

She wrote the directions to the place on a napkin. "And in case you get lost just… call this number here and I can help you out."

Dean smiled "I just might have to do that." He told her, "Never know what I might need while I'm in town. Always helps to know someone who can … help out."

"I agree." She said.

"If you two are done making eyes at each other… his order is up" The cook said, setting two to go boxes on the pass through.

He paid for the food and got into the car, setting the take out into the passenger seat. The radio began to static and reached to turn it off , but paused, realizing that there was no power going to the radio as he hadn't even put the key in the ignition yet.

The familiar psychedelic rift came drifting through the speakers, masked over by static.

_… Now if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're gonna fall… tell 'em a hooka smoking caterpillar has given you the call… call Alice.._

Dean got out of the car "Come on Baby, don't prove Sam right." He told his car waiting for the phenomena to end. "That's not right… leave the car alone" He said in general to what ever entity was messing with his pride and joy.

It grew silent and he got back into the car. And took a deep breath before starting the car.

_… when logic and proportion, have fallen sloppy dead, and the white knight is talking backwards and the red queens is off with her head…_

… And turned it back off.

"Don't mess with my car" he said in a dark tone. "you want me to figure what ever this mess is out, fine. You wanna send me lullabies and cryptic dreams you go right ahead but if you want me to do anything for you… you don't mess with my car… and you sure as hell don't mess with my brother"

With that said he turned the key in the ignition again and was rewarded with silence. "Thank you" he said and drove back to the hotel.


	3. Sundown

"here you go" Dean said as he handed over the napkin before setting Sam's food down in front of him.

"what's this?" Sam asked as he looked at the napkin.

"That, is the directions to the Martin Farm." He said handing a beer over to his brother before opening up his own and settling in to eat. "Turns out the Martins weren't so safe and secure either. The little girl in my dream… She disappeared. Cassandra was away visiting friends, I was told, for all I know she was up for Moms funeral, although why they all didn't come I don't know since they thought enough of this guy to name you after him. Anyway… kid disappeared, no clues, no sign of foul play"

"the cops arrest the guy?" Sam asked, realizing he shouldn't be at all surprised at what his brother could milk out of perfect strangers while ordering dinner.

"Don't know. They suspected him, couldn't pin it on him though. Not enough evidence. Turns out he disappeared 6 months later. Apparently Cassandra travels a lot now."

Sam nodded "okay, well we can head out to the farm in the morning and see if she is there. Check things out."

"no way, Dude, we should go tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yeah… why wait? I mean if you think she is in trouble of some sort the sooner we get out there the better."

"thought you were convinced these were nothing but dreams." Sam said, studying his brother.

"Lets just say I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt." He said not about to tell Sam that the car had been playing its own music for a while there. He would never hear the end of it. Sam was convinced that Dean had a Christine type relationship with his car. Joking about it being possessed even. This would not help in getting Sam over his delusions, so he wasn't going to tell him about it. Not like it was anything more than the spirit letting him know it was there anyway. Who the hell sent messages with Jefferson Airplane?

What was it trying to say? Just say no? Or maybe it was trying to set him up with a supernatural high. Who knew but it better stay away from his car.

Sam looked at him a bit critically then nodded "okay. Well, I'm ready when you are." He said getting to his feet "Should probably load for serious trouble. Two unexplained disappearances like that, it could be something more than just a pushy spirit wanting our attention."

"Yeah I was starting to get that impression myself" Dean said as he grabbed his fathers journal. "Might have to bless the house. "

"Hope it's that simple." Sam said. The spirit might be the husband… the other Sam. Could be that he was reaching out to the son of his best friend… his name sake. Could also be that there was just another hungry spirit out for Winchester blood. He filled his bag with rock salt rounds for the shot gun, vials of holy water, a couple canisters of salt and a bag of brick dust.

"Lets do it" Dean said and lead the way out the door. He paused a moment before starting the car. Sam gave him a quizzical look, but Dean simply returned the look and started the car, relieved at the silence of the radio.

Which was how he drove to the farm. In silence. This was unfamiliar territory. It would be too easy to put it in the category of a normal job, now that they were here and had disappearances to write off to the supernatural. But it wasn't. What ever it was in that house (And he was sure that it was tied to that house some how) wanted them there.

Someone had been living on the property, or at least making use of it. The surrounding fields were planted and hear harvest. One side Sunflowers, the other corn. "maybe someone's home" He suggested

"I'm thinking no" Sam said as he looked over at the house. He had seen a lot of horror movies in his life. Usually found them to be funnier than most comedies. Not something that Jess understood. In fact she had found it quite disturbing.

They always spoke of how haunted houses looked and smelled. Whether they were bad themselves or just inhabited by bad entities. Only rarely did they actually succeed in giving you the feel of a haunted house.

There was something… wrong… about a haunted house. Didn't matter if it were old and decrepit or some shiny new high rise. They had a feel about them. Something that always made Sam feel like a deer in hunting season.

That was how he felt right then looking at the old farm house. It wasn't grey and bleak like the house in Psycho, didn't leer down at you from turrets or eye like windows such as in Rose Red or Amityville (he still thought that one was fake) It was a sweet looking little house. An old fashioned two story farm house, white washed with green trim and crisp white curtains blowing in a wind that Sam couldn't feel being in the car, and it just added to the sense of Other about the place.

He looked over at his brother to see if he were feeling it too, and satisfied himself that Dean was. He had gone all business. An alert tension humming though him, and his eyes were focused on that house as well.

Sam was the one to break the spell and open his door first, making sure to drag his bag out of the back seat and drape the strap over his shoulder. He didn't care if the sweetest old woman alive lived in that house now. He was going in armed for bear.

They walked up to the front door slowly, eyes on their surroundings. Everything was cast slightly yellow, almost sepia toned in the light of a spectacular Kansas sunset. Something or someone was watching them, and it made Sam's skin crawl.

Dean rapped on the door, trying to come up with a story off the top of his head but there came no answer, so he tried the door.

Locked.

Sam positioned himself out of habit between Dean and any onlookers there might be as his brother fished out his lock picks.

"Can I help you boys?" Came a long slow drawl from the side of the house and Dean nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Hi" Sam said stepping forward to speak with the man, leaving Dean a moment to put things away "Actually we were looking for Mrs. Martin. She was a friend of our parents when we were growing up."

The aging man held out a hand to Sam "Well, my Cassie hasn't been home in a while now. Doesn't stay in the house even when she is. Who did you say you were?"

"I'm Sam, and this is my brother Dean-"

"Winchester" He supplied for them and that got Deans attention instantly. "You're John and Mary's boys. Terrible thing what happened to your mother. Not that either of you are old enough to really remember it I suppose." He said stepping in to shake Deans hand. "guess we have to count the blessings as we get them."

"Do you know when Mrs. Martin might be back this way? Our father passed on and we were hoping she might have, I don't know… some pictures or something. We want to copy them for an album… you know… him and Mom… Hang on to as many memories as we can."

"Hard to say" the old man said as he ran his hand through his snow white hair, still thick upon his head. "you know, Cass hasn't lived in that house for years now. Still has most of her belongings in it. I don't think she would mind if you boys went inside to look for those pictures. Just leave me a note with what you took and bring it back when you are done with the copies."

He made his way up the steps, a little slower than he would have in his younger years and unlocked the door for them. "take your time. I'm done for the day. You boys be careful in there. Like I say, house hasn't been lived in for a long while now. Lock up when you go"

"Thanks" Dean said and gave Sam a look that said 'Well that was weird' but entered the house cautiously. "looking for pictures for an album? You are such a girl" he said as he turned on the lights.

"It worked didn't it?" Sam asked "Guess they kept the place up"

The house was clean. As though someone had just come through and done spring cleaning. It shouldn't have seemed so strange. There was a care taker after all, that was farming the land, and had a key. Except for the fact that Cassandra Martin didn't live in the house when she came home. Why keep a house at perfect readiness for someone who was never going to come inside?

He closed the door and the click of the latch seemed to echo around them, giving Dean a chill.

"What the hell is it with Haunted Houses" Dean asked as he started to walk through the place "Ever notice that? Cant even walk across the room with out the little bastards turning it into a creep fest." He said it that way because he was honestly referring to the houses, not the ghosts with in them. Spirits had a purpose. Usually it wasn't to creep out tourists, or distant relatives. Usually they were tied to a place for a reason and once you figured out that reason you were good to go. Send them on their way and get on about yourself.

Houses were different. They didn't have a purpose. He didn't know if it was because they had been haunted so long that they stored up the negative energy, or if they had a life of their own and just hated the humans walking through them the way a dog hated fleas.

"so does it look like your dream?" Sam asked as he set his back on the polished dining room table and took out the tools of the trade.

Dean scowled uncomfortably "Yeah" He said. "they were sitting over there" He said "That's the window where Mom saw what ever it was."

Sam walked over to the window and looked it over, as though 28 years later he could see some residue of what had been outside. "well it wants to communicate… or something does anyway. Lets set up a tape recorder and see what we can hear"

Dean nodded and set up the specialized tape recorder and left it on the table. "okay, we're here. You got something say, now would be a good time."

He walked around the room a little, not bothering to be quiet. Spirits needed noise to manipulate it into EVP. "Any body home? "

"Dude if you say come out come out where ever you are I am so going to kick your ass" Sam told him as he went to pick up the tape player, frowning as the lights went out. "That is never good."

Dean reached into his bag and pulled out a flash light turning it on, only to have it flicker and die. "yeah well, neither is that" He said and strode for the door, figuring on turning on the impala and shining her lights in through the window.

The door didn't budge.

The brothers gave each other a long suffering look, "here we go again" Said in unison, as the turned around to face the stairs, and a slow rhythmic thumping. A red ball, bounced its way down, and rolled across the floor to their feet, stopping mere inches from them.

"_hush a bye, don't you cry." _Came the sing song voice of a child from up stairs, repeating that one line of the lullaby over and over again


	4. Hushabye

Dean would rather have subjected himself to show tunes and hallmark moments for a month of Sundays, than admit that the sound of children playing left him with an almost wistful feeling. Bittersweet really. Now there was a word one didn't associate with Dean Winchester. Wistful, bittersweet, those were words one normally associated with his brother, but that was only because Dean was better at hiding his emotions. Dean was the brick wall between Sam and the world, and growing up that world had been their father. John didn't like the reminders that he was stealing his son's childhood in the pursuit of something they would never catch. So Dean had sucked it up like a good little soldier, and stood between John and Sam, when Sam hadn't been able to do the same thing.

Children playing, reminded Dean of his childhood not because he had done a lot of playing, but because he had done a lot of watching Sammy play. Because he had made himself a lot of promises on what he would never do to his own children, no matter how much he idolized his father. Promises he had made himself that he would never keep, because there were no children in Dean's future. At least none that he would ever know about. He contented himself that he had been the one to raise Sam… and he couldn't imagine how the boy had turned into the man he was, with himself and John Winchester as his role models.

So many things he had imagined doing with his own son, back when he had found himself falling in love with Cassie, for that brief time when he thought that it might be possible for him to have that life. To have a woman, to feel love and be loved in return, he had let himself imagine what it would be like to be a father, with out the constraints of being nothing more than a child himself. For that brief time the sound of children playing was music to his ears.

Then it became a reminder that his life was nothing more than death. Bringing it… cheating it… keeping it away from as many people as he could. Especially Sam. Children had no part in a life filled with so much death. So now there was no hope in the sound of children playing. Only the reminder of what he would never have, and what he would fight to protect, even if he never knew their names or saw their faces.

But this child, the sound of this child running and playing, laughing, singing that damned lullaby over and over, this child was something different. This child made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. His first instinct had been to tell Sam to stay put while he went up the stairs but he didn't. He simply walked up calmly, quietly, sawed off shot gun at ready. It was a child, but they had found out several times now that just because a ghost was a child, didn't make them innocent. Not after so long dead and alone.

"Grace" He said, following a hunch, as surely as he followed the sounds of laughter, which suddenly shifted to crying.

"I want my mommy" the little girl cried.

"Yeah… I know how ya feel" Dean said, remembering nights that he had wanted his mother more than anything else in the world. Except maybe for his father, but he had gotten neither. His father had been broken by his mothers death and it took him time to rebuild himself into the hunter that he had become.

"I want my mommy!" The voice was angry now, a harsh wind whipped through the halls of the house, slamming doors and rattling windows. It buffeted against the brothers, and Dean turned his back to the wind, grasping at his brother, fingers barely grazing the younger mans shirt as he fell backwards down the stairs, rolling at odd angles until he hit the floor below in a limp pile of long legs and arms.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled as he ran down the stairs two at a time, very nearly falling himself as he rushed to his brothers side. "Sammy… come on man, look at me, open your eyes and look at me" He said as he looked the man over quickly before even daring to touch him. He couldn't tell if there were damage to Sam's back from the fall but his neck appeared fine, so he took the chance that easing him onto his back wasn't going to kill him or worse.

He would love to know if Sam's pupils reacted to light but there wasn't really enough light in the house now to see them if they did. There were three good goose eggs forming on his brothers head, and Dean was betting one if not all of them was the reason for Sam's unresponsiveness.

Dean shrugged out of his jacket and bundled it up placing it under his brothers feet just incase of shock "Just hang on Sam…" he said worriedly as he got up and headed to the door once more trying to open it, kicking at it again and again, until he was exhausted from it. He swore at it , and returned to his brothers side, checking him over once more.

Sam's pulse and respiration were fine, even his reflexes seemed to be in working order. At least he had them as far as Dean could ascertain, which was relieving considering what a fall like that could have done to his little brother. "Damn it, Sammy, Wake up."

"H_ushabye, hushabye, hushabye, hushabye…"_

"I'm gonna hushaby _you _in a minute if you don't knock that shit off " Dean told her, as he got up once more "Give you a rock salt lullaby just as soon as I see your munchkin ass" he headed into the kitchen. He opened the freezer and was relieved to find that even though heavily frosted over, there were ice cubes in the freezer. He shook out an old dish towel and filled it with ice cubes before going back to his brothers side.

"Okay, Sam, you have my attention, you can wake up now. " He gingerly pressed the improvised ice pack against the largest of the lumps on his brothers head, and sighed "Now is not the time to be stubborn. "

He should have waited for morning. He had known that the moment the lights had gone out. He should have waited. Should have brought the first aid kit in with him. . He shouldn't have let Sammy fall. His whole life was wrapped up in should haves and shouldn't haves. Things that he had failed to do or not do to keep his brother safe and healthy. Coming into this house was just another in a long line of shouldn'ts.

Sam moaned and Dean let out a long shuddering breath. "thank god" It wasn't consciousness exactly, but it wasn't a coma either. He hoped it meant he wasn't going to lose his brother anytime soon. "I don't want to leave you man, but I have a feeling if I don't go find the little darling, you're not gonna wake up" He told him as he got to his feet and gently pulled Sam up as well, hefting him over his shoulder "so lets get you somewhere more comfortable and then I'll go play hide and seek with little Grace."

He made sure Sam's feet were still propped up. Not hard since he was longer than the couch. "okay Sammy… just hang on a little while Longer. I'll get us out of here. I promise"

Dean picked up his shot gun, and climbed the stairs once more, his back to the wall, just in case of another playful gust of wind from Grace Martin. "you are so grounded when I get my hands on you" He muttered.

The bedrooms were neatly preserved, as was the rest of the house. Even little Graces toys were carefully put away, as though she would be coming back to play with them again. She probably did, poor kid. She would have been roughly a year older than Dean. In a perfect world he could see their parents shoving them together with hopes of merging their families. Sammy would have had a crush, and she would have married some weird guy that no one liked. It was easy to imagine that perfect world, walking through this house, seeing where their parents had shared weekends doing normal things like playing cards and barbequing dinner. So easy to see his brother playing in the sunflowers as a small boy, easy to imagine chasing that damned dog that Cassandra had with her in the RV.

The girl had died here though. That meant there had been no kidnapping. There had been no mysterious stranger come to take the Martins little girl. It had happened in this house, while Cassandra was with them in Lawrence, burying their mother. "Son of a bitch did it didn't he." He said. Her father had to have at least had a part in it. The body was on the property somewhere he was sure. He doubted a spirit so young would linger otherwise.

He thought he could just about remember her if he thought about it hard enough. Dark haired, dark eyed little girl, but that could just be his imagination. How could he be sure of what he remembered before the night his mother died?

"_Hushabye, don't you cry_"

Dean sighed. "Grace… I want you to let me help you." He told her, hoping that she could be reasoned with. Sometimes a spirit could help you sort out what needed to be done.

"_You grew up_" the little girl said, 5 years old and pretty, standing in the door way of her bedroom, looking at Dean.

"Yeah… that happens." He said kneeling a little to look at the girl "But, Grace… its time for you to move on now. Its okay… my Mom and Dad on the other side now… you remember my parents?"

She nodded "_But I want_ my _mommy_."

"I know honey but I don't know where she is right now." Dean told her honestly.

"_Find my mommy_" She said more firmly, and Dean rose, realizing that they pleasant conversation was about to come to an end. Little Grace had picked up a serious anger problem. Probably came from 23 years of no naptime.

"I'll find your mom, but you gotta open the doors so that I can take Sammy to the doctor." He wished she would cross over willingly, or that he didn't remember her now.

She lifted her arm and pointed out the window. "_Find my mommy_"

Dean looked out the window toward the corn field and saw in the center what looked to be a large white tube, but a closer look told him exactly what it was "White Rabbit… that's what you were trying to tell me…" he muttered, turning as he saw the little girl move out of the corner of his eye.

"Find her" She wailed loud enough to rattle the windows, and Dean felt himself being lifted and thrown at the glass.

He fired the shot gun, the salt rounds dissipating the ghost, but it was too late and Dean went through the window, landing on the sloping roof and sliding backwards toward the edge. He tried to slow his descent, to turn around to get a purchase on the shingles, but nothing slowed his progress.

Dean cried out as he felt the roof end and nothing but air beneath him.

That is…

Until the rose bush broke his fall.


	5. House of Broken Dreams

"son of a-" Dean began and groaned loudly as he slowly disengaged himself from the rose bush. The groan was cut short by a sharp cry of pain as he pulled his leg off of one of the thick branches, or more appropriately, pulling a broken branch out of his leg. It wasn't deep, at least not as Dean would reckon deep, but it hurt like hell and it bled like a bitch. "that's what I get for being nice " He said as he plucked thorns from his jeans, glad that he had worn the leather jacket this time.

He limped up the porch steps and tried the door once more, his pulse racing as he realized there was no getting back inside until he laid this ghost to rest… until he found her mother.

Which left Sam in there alone with the little brat, and Sam was in no condition to defend himself. "Fine, I'll go find her" He said to the door, knowing the child would hear him "but you leave Sam alone." He started to walk away " little brat is in serious need of a nap."

He stopped by the impala and got the first aid kit. He patched up the hole in his leg quickly, then headed toward the ancient RV out in the corn field. Chances were that Cassandra was out there, and if she was walking around he doubted that she was leaving any foot prints behind.

Sam moaned softly in his sleep, stirring on the couch but not quite rousing.

"_you two behave up there" Mary called after Dean and Grace, looking worriedly up the stairs after the sound of scrambling little feet and childlike giggles. _

"_They'll be fine" Cassandra said "Its okay to let him out of your sight every once in a while. I promise" _

"_I know" Mary said as she settled down at the dining table once more, her stomach large with her second child. "I just… I've been having these dreams lately. " she shook her head "John says its just anxiety or indigestion or something but I don't know. They seem so real." _

_Cassandra started another album on the stereo. She wasn't a TV person at all, but wanted white noise in the back ground to keep their conversation private. John and Sam were such non believers it just lead to ridicule for them to overhear. _

_She never understood how Sam could disbelieve in magic and witchcraft, when he knew what lurked out there in the darkness. Sometimes she thought she didn't know her husband at all. _

"_What did you dream?" she asked in concern, as Crosby Stills and Nash filled the room with the strains of House of Broken Dreams. Cassandra shivered a little, and hoped it wasn't an omen of things to come. _

"_I … you're going to think I'm crazy." Mary protested. _

"_Oh please. You know what I believe in, you even defended me to John when I gave Dean that amulet. You would have to come up with something pretty out there for me to think you were insane." _

_Mary sighed long and low. "I dreamed about yellow eyes… like I did before Dean was born, I dreamed that John had yellow eyes… and… and that the baby " she shook her head. "Its because of those eyes I saw here, before Dean was born isn't it. Something was out there and its still following me."_

_Cassandra rested her hand over her friends. "I wish I could say you're wrong." She said gently "There are things in the world that there are no explanations for. Things that aren't exactly friendly. But these dreams, you cant let them get to you. All you can do in life is prepare for the worst and enjoy the best that it has for you. Do you remember those things I told you to do when Dean was born?"_

_Mary nodded "Just take the same precautions and everything will be fine."_

"_I don't know. John threw a fit last time"_

"_And he let you do it anyway." Cassandra pointed out "honey, John would let you bring in a voodoo priestess to tap dance on his head if it would make you happy. The man loves you two… and soon three… more than any woman has a right to expect. I envy you that a little."_

"_Are you and Sam having trouble?" Mary asked, concern in her green eyes. _

"_I don't know" Cassandra answered with a sigh. "Something is going on with him and he isn't letting me in. Its not like him, you know. Sam has never been one to keep secrets."_

"_Men are like that. Especially men like those two. You know… men that John Wayne wishes he could be… manly, macho, strong men. "_

"_Marines" Cassandra said, summing up their husbands in one word. "Semper Fi. " she shook her head. "You know, most days I wouldn't trade that for the world. But sometimes… just sometimes… I would really prefer Cary Grant over John Wayne."_

_She looked at Mary's stomach "you hear that, little man? You need to be the sensitive type, give the girls around here a break from all that machismo."_

"_the doc said that with the ultrasound it looks like this is a girl ,although John says the baby is just modest and hiding things from public view " Mary pointed out and Cassandra laughed.._

"_This is a boy." Cass said with confidence. "We did the ring test, remember, when you were pregnant with Dean. You are having a boy."_

"_well, John would be happy to hear that. I swear that man wants a platoon of boys, but it would serve him right to have a daughter."_

_Cassandra just smiled at that. The ring test had said two children. Both boys. No more for Mary. Some how she doubted that either of the Winchesters would be grieving the lack of children in their lives. If Dean were any indication they would have their hands full with just the two they were going to have. _

_The door opened and their husbands came in, one supporting the others weight. _

"_what happened?" Cassandra asked worriedly, moving to help Samuel get John to the sofa._

"_damned if I know" John said "I think a cat tried to ham string me or something" he winced in pain as Cassandra tore open his jean leg freeing the calf. _

"_Yeah, something grabbed him from under the car." Sam said with a frown as he went to get something from the closet. "I'll go see if I can find it in a minute."_

_Cassandra and Sam shared a look when he returned and poured something over the wound, both of them relaxing visibly when it did nothing, but Cassandra started fussing "You might want to get the peroxide instead. I don't want this getting infected. Mary doesn't need two little boys to take care of just yet. Give her a few weeks yet. "_

_Sam smiled and went to get the first aid kit. "you should count yourself lucky. Me she would douse with mercurochrome. "_

"_Ouch… man, I would start making up with your wife if I were you. Its not a good sign when they want to torture you like that." _

"_oh don't worry," Samuel Martin said with a knowing smile "She's got hers coming eventually."_

"_Promises, promises… don't you have a whatever it was to go hunt down? I don't want Grace to find it the hard way"_

"_See… there she goes, trying to get rid of me." _

"_Hey, I have a child and the fields are harvested, what do I need you around for" Cass teased. _

"_What indeed" Samuel said with a raised eye brow. _

"_Will you just go" She said with a laugh, smiling at the man who reached for a shot gun and checked the loads before going outside._

The old man stood staring at Sam's unconscious form on the sofa, and smiled a little. It was a smile Sam would recognize if he had wakened from his dream. He would have seen the years fade from the mans features, his hair grow dark and full once more.

"It was supposed to be the other one" the man said as he hefted the younger over his shoulder. "Will take more work, but you'll do." He told him as he headed for the basement.

Dean found the old silver bullet RV, that his father and Samuel Martin had painted as a White Rabbit as a practical joke. He rolled his eyes realizing that the girl had been named after Grace Slick. "White Rabbit… Jefferson Airplane… Grace… nice… " he shook his head as he looked at the RV. It had been there a while, from the moss growing up on the wheel wells, and the rust in the undercarriage.

He tried the door and found it unlocked and entered into a piece of his childhood. He could remember it now, having spent time in this RV, playing with the dog and eating hot dogs that Cassandra would grill for them outside as though they were camping. He could almost see the basinet that she had lain Sammy to sleep in on the bench beside the table.

The birth he had slept in was pressed up against the ceiling, but came down easily enough. He remembered how it had shaken the entire trailer when his father had joined him there. A glance to the left showed the door to the tiny bedroom where Cassandra had stayed, and the small living space between the two beds. It had been like camping, and she had made it seem like there was nothing wrong but looking back on it, her eyes had been as sad and broken as his fathers.

He touched the television and his hand came away with a layer of dust well on its way to being an entire herd of dust bunnies. "this thing has been here a while." He said with a frown, lifting the bench seat and finding a stack of old journals, smiling at the thought that he had been right. Cassandra at least had been a hunter of some sort.

He picked up the top journal and read the date of the last entry. "Two years ago…" He said and the color suddenly drained from his face. The old man had to have known this was here. The crops were planted around it. He had let them into the house… "Sammy" he said and fairly leapt out of the RV and headed back to the farm house at a limping run.

If Grace didn't let him back into the house through the door, he'd just have to make a new one.

Wouldn't be the first time…


	6. Yesterday once more

Dean stumbled as he ran, the leg was giving him more trouble than it should have. He had a sinking feeling there were bits of rosebush still inside the wound, not that he had time to worry about it now. Sam was in danger. He never should have listened to the call of a damned ghost in the first place. Should have known it was a trap for his brother. They always seemed to want Sam. Well they couldn't have him. Dean wouldn't allow that.

He picked himself up off of the ground, only to freeze in his tracks. Why was it the dead chose to appear in two forms, terrifying or breathtaking? The woman before him was breath taking. Not in the way you would normally think. She wasn't some incredible hottie that had Dean wishing she were more substantial. This was like when he had seen his mother in Lawrence. This was love. This wasn't vengeance or justice or even a lost spirit… this was a woman who refused to cross over for the sake of love and she was looking at him in a way no one had save for his mother. It make his throat catch, and the words came hard.

"I- I would… love to help you with what ever you called us here for by I have to get to my brother, now." He managed.

Cassandra nodded "I know… but first you have to know" she said as she moved closer until she disappeared into Dean.

"_mary, no." John said firmly, taking down the talisman she had hung over Sammy's crib. "Cassandra has fed you so much of that bull shit that you are believing it now. Don't you see, that's what's causing these nightmares. There is nothing wrong with Sammy. He's just a baby. A normal healthy baby." He insisted. "Look in my eyes, honey, do you see anything wrong with my eyes?" He asked holding her face gently in his hands " She means well, I'm not saying we aren't going to go see her or be friends, but this has got to stop, Mare, there's no such thing as demons. There isn't one following you or our children. Okay… tell me you believe me" _

_John Winchester was scared. Mary had been a little depressed after Dean's birth. Even a little before she had started to see things, especially in the dark. It hadn't been the first time she had seen the glowing eyes, the night that he and Sam Martin had pretended to go hunt down what was out side their window in Cotton wood falls. She had gotten over it after Dean had been born, and he had admitted that Cassandra's mumbo jumbo had seemed to help get her past what ever it was that had been bothering her. _

_This time it was different. She had been having problems from the beginning. It had gotten worse along the way until now when he was starting to think that his wife was going mad with it all, and she was latching on to their friends cracked out beliefs as a basis for her delusions. He was afraid that she would hurt Sammy or herself at this rate. _

_He gave her one of the sedatives the doctor had prescribed, then got her tucked into bed before going down stairs to call the Martins. _

"_no… no Cass I'm not blaming you. My god, you can believe what ever the hell you want. Normally I wouldn't care if Mary believed right along side you, and I know you're a good friend but Mary is fragile right now. It's this damned post partum depression thing. The doctor said it will pass in a little while, they have her on medication, but you cant keep talking to her about this shit. Not right now." He sighed "No I don't think it's a good idea right now. Maybe in a couple of months. Yeah… kiss Grace for me… and make my apologies to Sam… yeah I will… bye"_

The scene shifted to the farm house as Dean slumped to the ground trying to take in all the information that was being forced upon him.

"_what do you mean they aren't coming out here for the weekend?" Sam Martin demanded as he looked at his wife in something akin to horror. _

"_Mary isn't doing so well, John said they would come out in a couple of months. You two will still have plenty of time to go hunting for deer." She said, not understanding why Sam was so upset by it. _

"_What did you say to them?" He asked stepping closer to her, dark eyes narrowed. _

"_Sam, what is your damage?" she asked moving past him to go and kneel beside their daughter. "Okay sweetheart, its time to start putting things away."_

"_Aw mom" the 5 year old complained "Do I have to?"_

"_yep, but mommy will be home all day tomorrow and we can go to the park or something, okay?" _

"_Okay" she said and started to pick up her toys and put them in the designated toy box. _

"_you have no idea what you have done." Sam muttered and headed out the door, slamming it shut behind him. _

_Samuel Martin stalked across the yard and into the sunflowers that were a good portion of their income for the year His head was all but spinning, and his heart nearly exploding in his chest in terror. _

"_you've failed again" came a voice from behind him, and Sam was certain hew as going to hurl. _

"_I can do this… I just need a little more time. Please, just a little more time." He begged. _

"_now why would I do that?" the demon asked as he circled Samuel. "You made a deal, you begged for your pathetic life, and that of your wife… that pretty little wife of yours. Promised me anything, and all I asked was a child. Not even your child… I asked for the first born son of your best friend… should have been an easy sacrifice for life and quiet success. But you cant even find a way to take one little boy. "_

"_John is more protective than I had thought he would be.. he- he isn't making this easy, I cant get the child with out tipping him off and neither of us wants that."_

"_I could care less about John Winchester and how difficult he is making things for you. Get it done… one way or another a child will die on the full moon. Better you choose than me." He said and disappeared into a black mist. _

Dean pushed himself up off of the ground. "Why me?" he asked raggedly "She died in my place… why me?" He cried out in pain as the images kept coming "No… have to get to Sam" he murmured as he hit the ground once more.

"_its all my fault" _

"_John? Is that you?" Cassandra asked into the phone "What's your fault? Honey you're scaring me, what's happened."_

"_Mary… mary's gone… Should have listened to you. Should have let her put up those protections you told her to put up…"_

"_Gone? John… take a deep breath… whats going on?"_

"_Mary's dead. There was a fire in Sammy's room. Cass, she was pinned to the ceiling. Something killed her and put her up there…"_

_Cassandra's chest ached and she let out a sharp sob "We're on our way, where are you staying, Johnny? The boys…are the boys alright?"_

"_we're staying with Randall and his family for a few days… the boys are fine thank god" John said, but Cassandra was sure there wasn't any real thought of God in that statement. John was dying inside, she could hear it in his voice. _

"_okay honey, we're on our way. Just hang in there okay?"_

Dean pulled himself along the ground even as the images assailed his mind. Pushing himself first to his knees, and eventually to his feet, never stopping his push toward Sam. The images were overwhelming, and he didn't understand how Sam could bear it , the pain , the helplessness to stop it.

_Samuel Martin carried his sleeping child down the stairs and on into the basement. "Daddy loves you baby." He told his daughter, and tears welled in his eyes as he lay her in the circle._

_Grace awoke, as the last of the circle was drawn in place and sat up, rubbing her dark eyes with one small hand. "Why are we in the basement Daddy?" She asked "Did mommy come home ?"_

"_Not yet baby. She'll be here soon. You'll see Mommy soon" He said holding back the tears, not wanting to frighten her yet. He didn't want to frighten her at all. This should have been Johns boy, not his little girl, not his precious little girl. _

_Samuel began to cant the ritual, walking around the circle, not looking at his child as he did so. Not wanting to see her eyes or how she trembled. _

"_I want mommy" She said, all that he wanted to ignore was there in her voice. "Daddy I want mommy … where's my mommy." She started to cry then, not the cries of a spoiled or tired child, but the cries of a child lost and afraid. "mommy!" she screamed out some how knowing that there would be no help coming from the father who had brought her hear. _

Dean wiped at his eyes with a trembling hand, taking a deep breath, "Son of a bitch." He swore as he forced himself up the steps to the front door, leaning against it as he tried to open it. "Grace you have to let me in. " he said although he was beginning to think it wasn't Grace that held his brother hostage.

He stumbled down the stairs, and cried out in pain at visions that continued "Have to get to Sam…" He said.

_Samuel dug a deep grave in the basement, sobbing uncontrollably as he lay his daughters lifeless form in the earth. He knew he should salt and burn the body. Especially with what had transpired but he couldn't bring himself to do it. If her spirit still walked the halls of the house then he hadn't lost her forever. She would still be with him, and Cassie. There would be other children, he promised himself as he covered her over with earth, and piled the boxes over her from ground to ceiling. _

_He went up stairs and showered, going back to bed, preparing for the worst yet to come, telling his wife that their daughter had disappeared while she was away comforting Winchester. _

Dean leaned against the impala, losing what was left of his dinner. The wretching just made his head hurt worse, and he was afraid that he was going to pass out as he slid behind the wheel of is car "I'm sorry baby but we have to get to Sam" He said as he started the car, and put her in reverse to back up and give himself room to build up more speed.

Sam Winchester moaned softly as he was set down on the floor, within a very similar circle to the one that had been laid down for little Grace. His head pounded and he had to work to open his eyes. "Dean" He managed to get out.

"Deans not here… " Martin said as he looked at his name sake. One of the last remaining vestiges of his former best friends. "yet. Don't worry. He will be eventually. Then we can begin. " he was going to wipe out the last remaining Winchesters, and maybe, maybe then the demon would let him have his world back.

Sam got to his feet and looked around him, almost falling forward but stumbling into the barrier created by the circle. "What the-"

His words were drowned out by the sound of what could only be the impala crashing through the wall of the house. "well you were right about that. Don't think that's what you had In mind though"


	7. rescue me

Dean couldn't help it. He paused to assess the damage done to his car "I'm sorry baby" He said as he limped around to the back of the car and got into the truck, grabbing his pistols. He tucked one into the back of his jeans, the other he carried at the ready as he cautiously stepped over the debris left by his entrance. He hoped they didn't need a quick escape because it just wasn't going to happen.

He knew where he would find them. The two Samuels. His brother and a man worse than any monster he had ever encountered. Hell Dean was pretty sure he was worse than the Benders and good ole psychotic Gordon combined. A man that would start out to sacrifice his best friends children, and then substitute that with his own when he failed wasn't even human anymore. How could he be?

Poor little Grace, left to wander the halls of the house after a death like that. No wonder she was desperate for her mom, and mean as hell. Another life taken instead of his own. There was a thought that he really didn't think he could deal with right then, or ever. The only solace available to him at all the deaths that had given him the life he now lead was that he had to save Sam. And he couldn't do that if he were dead.

He always had to save Sam. Not that it was Sam's fault. It was just how life had played out. Something had happened when their mother died that had changed Sam from a normal baby to someone that everyone wanted to either kill, or possess… or twist into some great evil, something so unlike Sam that it was boggling to even think of it. It twisted in his mind, no more real to him than the idea that the moon was made of swiss cheese.

Once again he had to save Sam. His purpose in life. He figured as he slowly progressed down the stairs to the basement, that Cassandra's ghost had been trying to warn them slowly of what had happened, of what her monster husband was after. Instead they had taken it as a call for help and come running straight into a trap.

He knew that was what he was walking into as he made his way down the stairs. The only way into the basement. Not like the son of a bitch wouldn't see him coming the moment he crossed the threshold. "Sam. You alright?" He called out, not poking his head out.

"I think so" Sam said honestly. "Might not want to come in here. It's a trap."

"Yeah I figured that out"

"oh come on, Join us" Martin said with a faint chuckle. "I'll even wear my own face this time. Been a long time hasn't it. You probably don't even remember playing here."

"Well I didn't before today. Got a bit more in the memory department than I wanted to actually. So what's the deal? You trade me for some sort of eternal life mumbo jumbo only Dad was a better man than you realized for some reason and you couldn't get me… so you off your own kid. How's that workin' for ya' ?"

"Bout as well as could be expected." Samuel Martin admitted.

"Yeah well, I'm not the doe eyed innocent boy anymore man. Been a few years. Don't think Sam and I are what you were looking for anymore. So do us all a favor, let him go, walk away and we'll salt and burn little grace and get out about our business. "

"I cant do that Dean. That's not how it works."

"you're not leaving me much of a choice you know" Dean said as he entered the room, gun in front of him, quickly taking aim at his target.

"I'm not leaving you any choice at all Dean. You are going to die today. You and Sam. Should have happened long ago. "

"Yeah well better men have tried." Dean said as he neared the circle that held his brother.

"Don't touch the circle" Sam warned. "Its got teeth" It had hurt like hell when he had bumped into it himself.

"So how about a little help here, Grace. " Dean wasn't sure it could work. He was trying to reason with an insane 5 year old "Help me save my brother and we'll help you find your mom. She's around here some where. I'm pretty sure Daddy buried her down here too. I saw her out in the corn field."

"What?" Both Sam's said in unison.

"That's not possible. I salted and burned that bitch." Samuel Martin .

Dean scoffed "Apparently you didn't do it right, or maybe she's more stubborn than that. Sometimes a spirit holds on against all odds. Especially where their kids are concerned. So I got the picture on why you offed little Grace, you sick son of a bitch, but why did you kill your wife? What happened? She figure out what you had done and confronted you?"

"Something like that" martin said as the two men circled Sam's prison, Martin always keeping Sam between himself and Deans pistol. Dean wasn't liking this little dance at all. It wasn't getting him any closer to saving his brother or laying these spirits to rest.

"I want my mommy. " came the plaintive cry of the small child once more, and Dean felt his stomach knot up. Guilt, hope, fear all tangled up in one.

"I know honey, " Dean said "But I can't bring your mommy into the house until we get Sammy out of this circle and take care of you're Daddy here."

"Shut up" Sam Martin said "Don't think for one minute I cant kill your brother with a word if you keep pissing me off. "

"that would screw your plans up though wouldn't it. So how long did you fake being my Dad's friend? Were you ever? Or were you just along for the ride because Cassandra was? "

"you don't know anything about it Boy, just shut your mouth."

"And what ? give up? Was it you that sicced that Demon on my family? Was it you? Wasn't enough you had to plot to sacrifice me as a kid you had to take everything else away from my Dad too? "

He laughed then. "You should have been mine, you know. You're mother and I… we had something beautiful before your father moved into town. "

"Come on man, how beautiful could it have been. You were in high school, and she wound up with my Dad." Dean said, starting to wish he had never gotten up that morning.

"Perfect Mary. So willing to believe. So willing to give herself into the moment. She thought we were just playing around. But she chose to take part in it all. Back when the pact was made. Back before that son of a bitch that sired you came along. " 

"Hey" Dean barked in return "Shut the hell up about my Dad."

Sam felt the room spin and slumped to his knees with a groan. His head was pounding still, and all he wanted to do was throw up. This wasn't good. A concussion was not good in a situation like this. Dean needed him to be conscious and ready to run at a moments notice.

"Sammy!" He heard his brothers voice but it was as though it was in slow motion. "What the hell did you do to him?" was the last Sam Winchester heard before slumping to the floor, into unconsciousness.

Dean crouched down beside the circle "Sammy! Dude come on don't do this to me. Sammy wake up."

"He cant hear you Dean" Martin said, suddenly more confident , "you are just like your father, you know that? Always thinking you can save everyone. When all you are is a speed bump in the grand scheme of things. No I was never your fathers friend. I was always just waiting. Watching and Waiting. It should have been you. At 6 months old it should have been you, at 4 years it should have been you… and right now… it should be you now, but its going to be Sam isn't it, Dean."

"No!" Dean roared at him "You are not taking my brother "


	8. the sins of the father er mother

_**A/N a very special thank you to Heather who told me how to get this uploaded in the first place. Not to mention all her wonderful reviews!! Enjoy:) **_

"One of you is going to die in this circle tonight." Martin said with a knowing smile. "And I am betting it's going to be Sammy." He laughed a little. "Can't exactly call him little can I?" He said, then canted a few words in a language Dean didn't recognize.

Even unconscious Sam Winchester felt the pain course through his body. It was as though he was being pulled out of his body, and the more he fought against it the more it hurt. But even unconscious, he fought it, and cries and whimpers of pain escaped his lips.  
"NO!" Dean growled, stepping around to take aim at Martin. "Let him go or it won't matter what deal you made with the devil, you'll be going to hell right here, right now."

"That's the rub, isn't it Dean? I have to let him go. Once it's started I have to stop it. You kill me and it won't do your brother any good."

"What do you want?" Dean asked.

"First, put down your gun." Martin said.

"Screw that. I want details first."

"The details are that your brother is reliving every sinful deed ever committed by your parents, and by me." He told him, and Sam whimpered as if on cue. "It's a painful process, and well, given the people in question a long one. It's going to take all night, and it's going to eat his soul until there is nothing left. Then he dies."

"Get him out of there, it's not Sam you want." Dean said looking over at his brother. "Get him out of there!" Dean yelled once more. "Or I swear to god you'll think hell is a vacation spot when I finally send you there. "

Martin laughed. "Dean." He said and sighed a little. "Dean, you don't have it in you. That's the whole point. That's why you are perfect for the ritual. You were designed to be perfect for the ritual. You've killed monsters, you've killed men inhabited by monsters, but you have never killed in cold blood. You know why? Because we needed your soul to be as pure as humanly possible. You're the quintessential hero. You're myth made into man. Not that you were ever supposed to grow into a man. You think you have a dark place inside you, but you don't Dean. "

"Shut up, and let my brother out of there." He said taking aim and firing. He aimed for the man's leg. Missing any major arteries, he needed him alive to save his brother but he wanted him to know he meant business.

Martin fell to the floor crying out in pain, and that pain was echoed in Sam's screams. The younger man's back arched, the tendons in his neck standing out as his body strained against itself.

"Those should be your screams, Dean. You should be in that circle. Should have been you when my daughter died."

"Shut up!" Dean yelled and got as close to the circle as he could. "Shut up." He said, with less strength in his voice.

"Put down the gun Dean, and shove it over to me. Then I will let you trade places with your brother." He told him in an almost gentle tone. "This is your destiny, not his. This is what you were made for, what your Mary promised you for."

"No." He said in ragged tones. "You're lying about my mother. Don't ever say her name again." He set the gun down on the floor, and shoved it toward Samuel Martin. "You tricked her, the way you conned your own wife, the way you conned my father. "

"Oh she changed her mind when she actually conceived. Told me I was insane." He said as he pushed himself back up onto his feet, gun in hand. "That you were going to be a normal little boy. That you weren't tainted by our pact. Then again she said the same thing about Sam and look where that got her."

Sam's pain subsided and the air around the circle seemed to crackle then fall away. "Stay on your knees!" He commanded Dean, not taking any chances. "And pull Sam out of the circle. You make one wrong move and it's Sam I'll shoot, not you."

Dean glared at him but reached into the circle and grabbed his brother's leg, pulling his unconscious form to him. He wasn't going to take the chance that Martin could trap them both in the circle.

He looked his Sam over. Making sure he wasn't any more seriously injured than he had been before. Sam moaned softly, and his eyes opened briefly. "Dean?" He asked.

"Yeah, Sammy. It's me. You're gonna be alright.â€ He said as he cautiously passed his hold out pistol over to his brother, keeping it hidden from Martin's view. It was probably Sam's only hope of getting out of there alive. He moved quickly into the circle before he could change his mind, and do something that might get his brother killed, then tossed the keys to the Impala out of the circle. "If you don't take care of her, I'll be back to haunt you."

"What?" Sam asked, still groggy. Then his dark eyes widened as the circle went back up  
"NO!" He yelled. "Damn it, Dean, No!" He tried to push himself up onto his feet but only managed to fall back to the floor, almost losing consciousness again.

"It's alright, Sam." Dean said, in an almost gentle tone.

Sam shook his head and pulled himself closer to the circle.

"Sam look at me." Dean felt his heart breaking as he looked at his brother's face; so much was left unsaid between them. "You get out of here. You leave this place and you never look back."

"I won't leave you." Sam said. "I'll get you out of this."

"How touching." The older Samuel said as he began to limp his way around the circle. "But completely pointless. You'll both die down here, the only difference is, Sam gets to keep his soul." He began the incantation again, and this time it was Dean who cried out in pain, slumping to the floor.

_Mary laughed. It was the infectious laugh of a teenaged girl about to do something very naughty. Nervousness, excitement, something akin to arousal in her eyes as they walked out into the field. "I am so dead if my father ever finds out I came out here with you.â€ _

_Sam Martin laughed in turn. "He'll never find out, mare. It's all good." He led her deeper into the field. The corn field in his father's back forty, where his family had been performing rituals for as long as it had been in his family. _

_"This is all just some joke right? Something you came up with to get me alone out here." She asked as she took the beer he offered her. _

_"No. It's real, Mary. It's very real. Everything is going to change after tonight. You love me don't you?"_

_"Of course I do Sam, why would… oh …you are getting me out here to try and get laid, aren't you?"_

_"No!" He exclaimed brushing dark hair from his eyes. "No, that's not it I swear. But you do love me? you aren't just saying it? you mean it right? " _

_"Of course I mean it." She said with all the sincerity of a 16 year old girl. A girl who had just a few short years before professed undying love for her favorite rock star. She loved Sam Martin in that moment. Because it was the strongest emotion she had ever felt for a man and had no idea what it would be like to truly love someone. She wasn't lying. She was just wrong. _

_Sam smiled. "Have you ever been with anyone before?" He asked her as they stopped at the clearing in the middle of the field. _

_"What? No." She said with a laugh. "And I'm not planning on being with anyone right now either, Samuel Martin." But the laughter faded from her eyes as she looked around her at the ring of stones, and the slab in the center. The candles set all around the tableau safely burning in their rounded glass votive holders, flickering in shades of amber and red._

_"Good…I like that." He said. _

_"Not planning on being a virgin sacrifice either, Sam." She said giving him a long suffering look. She found his belief in all this weird stuff sexy and it drew her to him in a way she really couldn't describe. She doubted she would be with him otherwise. It was the lure of the darkness in him, even if she believed that darkness to be mostly harmless and a lot of bullshit. _

_"No it's not about that. " He told her as he caressed her face gently, urging her to drink the beer down. "I need your help for a ritual is all. " _

_"A ritual?" She asked, feeling a little more tipsy than she should after just one beer, but she didn't think much of it. Wasn't thinking clearly much at all. "What sort of ritual?"_

_"The kind that will bring us all the good things in life."_

_"According to my father, that's called hard work."_

_"Your father doesn't know what I do." Martin said with a grin. _

_"And what's that?" She asked as she stepped into the ring of stones and sat down on the altar. _

_"How to summon a demon and make it give me what I want."_

_"No way." She said, laughing at that "Are you serious. You can summon a demon; a real demon up from Hell? I don't know if I think that is cool or psycho or both." She said setting the bottle down, and stretching out on the slab letting herself be taken away by what she saw as a harmless fantasy. "And what is this demon going to ask in return?"_

_Samuel Martin knelt beside her and lay his hand on her firm stomach. "Our first born child." He said in earnest, even if she didn't believe it was true. _

_"Oh so now we're going to have children, are we?" She asked as she propped herself up on one elbow. _

_"You love me don't you?" He asked. _

_"You know I do."_

_"Well that's what people in love do, isn't it? Get married one day, have children." _

_"Hand them over to some demon? Somehow I think that part is left out of the manual on how to be married with children."_

_"Do you trust me?" He asked. _

_Mary nodded. _

_"Lay back down." He said huskily, and arranged her clothing to reveal her stomach. "It's going to be alright Mary. I promise."_

"Dean!" Sam yelled, his brother's cries of pain were tearing him apart inside and there was nothing he could do. He could barely lift his own head. 

"I'm alright Sammy." Dean said finally, gasping for breath. "I'm alright. Getting tired of the trip down memory lane but I'm alright. You know what? bozo over there was a bigger geek than you in high school. Had to resort to black magic to get a girl and she still wouldn't sleep with him." Go Mom. "Still left you for my Dad, didn't she?"

"No" she ended it before your dad. Kept having nightmares about the rituals. Figured it was her conscience and pretty much ended it."

"This meant no first born child for you with her." Dean said breathing through the residual pain. "Which is why you had to sacrifice Grace isn't it. "

"No, It was the fruit of your mother's womb that was tied to the demon. Had to be a child born in love." He said the word derisively. "And that she felt only for John. "

Dean cried out in pain again. "Sammy damn it get out of here. " He ground out as he writhed on the floor of the circle.

_"You know what has to be done, Mary. Doesn't matter if it's my child or not. You made the pact; you sealed this child's fate long before you met John Winchester. " _

_"You're insane." She hissed at him holding her infant son tight against her to protect him. "I'll tell John. I swear I will if you don't back off."_

_"You'll tell John? No nonsense, salt of the earth, believes in god, John?" Sam laughed. "Go ahead. He'll think you're insane. I'll deny it until the cows come home and he will write it off to the baby blues. You know some women kill their own children because of it." He said. "Why he might have to lock you away to protect the baby. You know he would do anything to protect that baby. His boy, he is so sickeningly proud of that boy of his. " _

_Mary started to cry then. "I won't let you hurt my son."_

_"I'm not going to hurt anyone Mary. But the more you fight the demon, the more you will lose in the end. You cant get out of the bargain YOU made. YOU took part in that ritual willingly. YOU gave up your child. Fuck with him and you will lose everything."_

_"I'll lose everything? Or you will?" She spat at him and pushed him away. "You've been drinking." She said trying to reconcile her friend, her husband's friend, with the monster that stood before her, threatening her newborn son. "I wont tell John or Cass about this, but don't ever try this again, Sam, or I will tell them."_

Sam Winchester scooted further away from the circle, looking about the room hoping for anything to help get Dean out of that circle. He could kill Martin but that wouldn't stop the ritual. He had to break that circle some how… some how. If he could break the circle maybe the backlash would take care of Martin for him. 

He looked at the floor it was drawn on. Hard packed dirt. Parts of it were carved into the dirt, others chalked in place. He looked at the gun his brother had given him. His hold out. What was it loaded with? He checked and saw the tell tale markings of rock salt rounds. Of course it would be rock salt, they were here to battle a ghost after all.

It took all the strength he had in him to stand once more, and he took aim at the monster that bore his name, firing at center mass. It wouldn't kill him but it would take him out of the equation for a moment or two. Long enough he hoped to be able to do some good.  
Martin flew back wards with a cry of rage, and Sam turned his attention to the hard packed floor, moving closer to the circle he fired at the floor, taking out chunks of it right near the circle, creating cracks in the floor.

"Dean, come on man, snap out of it. I need you here." Sam said as he fired again, and again.

_Mary held her son close to her as she stared out the window. "It's okay, honey, Mommy wont let anything happen to you." She told the toddler as she swayed back and forth with him. "It's okay Dean, I love you. Mommy loves you." She said. _

_"But is love enough?" It was John's voice, but it couldn't be John. Not with that tone, not with those eyes. _

_She gave a hitching gasp and pulled away from the creature that wore her husband like a cloak. The child in her arms smiled and reached out for it. "Daddy!" Dean said brightly and Mary backed away even more almost falling backwards over the table. _

_"Leave my son alone!" She said, lower lip trembling even as she stood defiant. _

_"I can't do that, Mary." He said, yellow eyes glinting in the darkness. "You made a promise."_

_"I didn't know! I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know it was real." She pleaded. "Please don't take my son, please. You can take me. just leave him alone. He's just a baby."_

_"That's gonna cost you extra." He purred stepping closer. _

_"Please, anything you want, just not my baby."_

_The yellow eyed demon smiled then. "Anything?" He asked. _

_"Anything." She said, clutching to her son so tightly that Dean was squirming to be free. She gasped, almost screaming as the demon reached out to touch her belly, and she could almost feel it connecting with the child within her, the child she hadn't even told John about yet. "No! don't kill him please."_

_"You know it's a boy" He said smiling in some sort of pride. "And no, I won't kill him, Mary. Sweet, sweet, Mary. But he is going to be mine. And so will you."_

_He reached up and tousled Dean's blonde hair. "Looks like this is your lucky day, kid. " _

Dean curled into the fetal position within the circle, wanting nothing more than the visions to stop. He could bear the pain. Even as it wrung screams from him like water from a wet rag, he could bear it. But the guilt, the guilt was what was destroying him slowly. "It was because of me…oh god…Sammy I'm sorry." He managed. 

"Shut up, Dean. I need you to move." He said, as he spotted Martin start to struggle to his feet. He was grateful for Dean shooting the son of a bitch in the leg. It was at least slowing him down enough for Sam to do something.

Dean rolled to the far side of the circle unsure what it was that Sam thought he was going to do. In fact in those moments he didn't care, he just wished his brother would run, get somewhere safe. Dean just wanted it all to be over. No more deathâ€¦ no more death to keep him alive.

Sam blasted away at the floor, chipping the circle away a little at a time, until it was finally breeched, the blast throwing him back against the wall, sliding down it unconscious.  
"Sammy!" Dean got out as he pulled himself out of the remains of the circle, inching toward his brother. "No…not you too."

Grace materialized in front of the piles of boxes and crates that had been piled over her grave. "Daddy? Where's Mommy?" She asked, her words innocent enough, but the gleam in her eyes anything but. "I want my mommy."


	9. Laid to rest

-1

Dean pulled him self across the dirt floor of the basement and lay across his brothers unconscious body just as the first of the crates began to fly.

"Where is my MOMMY" Grace screamed out at the top of her ethereal lungs, all of the loneliness and fear and rage that had been her existence for more than 20 years poured out in that voice. Swirling around them with the force of a growing storm.

Dean could hear the windows shattering above, and squinted against the wind that stirred the dust and debris around them. He held tight to Sam and braced them against the wall, for as much protection as he could provide. He cried out as one of the crates slammed into him but didn't let go, didn't budge from his position. Nothing, no power from earth or hell could make him give up his post. He had to protect Sam.

Everything that had happened to them, to their mother, their father and to Sam had been because of HIM. Because of a bargain made to keep him safe and alive. Nothing Dean could ever do would make up for what it had cost his family. But he damned sure wasn't going to fall down on the job now. Not now.

He lost all track of time. It seemed as though time stood still for him there, as the poltergeist who had once been his playmate wrecked the basement. The wind howled around them, mingling with Samuel Martins screams, and Dean suspected a few of his own.

The sound faded, and for a moment it was so quiet that Dean wondered if he had gone deaf with it all. He lifted his head cautiously, looking around at the basement in awe. Every crate, every box, every piece of furniture had been rendered to little more than splinters and kindling.

He eased off of his brother, and looked him over "Come on Sammy, wake up " His brother groaned in response and made a face that belied the amount of pain he was actually in "Come on, Man, you're gonna be alright." He said as he helped Sammy sit up, then got to his feet and looked around, following the sounds of a little girl sobbing inconsolably.

"Its okay, Grace." Dean said "We'll get you to your mom, alright?"

The apparition nodded.

It was dawn when the brothers walked away from the burning farm house toward the corn field. The impala safely in the driveway, pointed toward the road, and the remains of a 5 year old girl in Deans arms.

"you wanna tell me again why we didn't just put Grace to rest back there?" Sam asked, exhausted, aching and more than a little woozy from the pounding his head had taken.

"Because Cassandra cant come into the house for some reason and I don't want to take the time to figure out why. I just wanted to get your name sake back there salted and burned before he came back to cause problems."

"And Cassandra is in the corn field?" Sam asked, not knowing all the details.

"Yep" Dean said and led the way out to the white RV parked in the center of the corn. He lay grace down on the ground and went inside "Too little too late, but… I brought her to you" He said, knowing that the ghost could hear him. He gathered up the journals and handed them out to Sam, knowing some how that was what she would want, then took the childs remains and tucked them into the bed he had slept in himself as a little boy. "good night Grace" He said as he salted the body, and then spread the gas around the interior of the ancient RV.

He stepped outside, and lit the match, looking at it for a moment before tossing it within.

He stepped back and watched, eyes welling up briefly as he put to rest two more people that had died because he had not.

"Dean?" Sam asked, resting a hand on his brothers arm.

"I'm good, Sammy… its all good" He lied. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye, in the shadows and light cast by the fires, and turned his head to see Cassandra and Grace, hand in hand, fading into nothing.

He turned on his heel and started to limp his way out of the corn field.

"Dean… you are not alight" Sam insisted following after him, neither of them moving as quickly as they wanted.

"Yeah… but its okay ." Dean said with a sniff. "That's just the way it is little brother. Don't be a nag about it. Didn't save your ass today just to listen to you nag." he said as he opened the door of the impala.

"Dude, who saved whose ass? Hello, circle of pain and death ring any bells?"

"Hey, I pulled you out first ." Dean said waiting for Sam to get in and wincing, as though in physical pain at the creaking and grinding of the impala's door. "And you are definitely hammering the dents out of that door. "

Sam chuckled as Dean put in a tape and they pulled out of the drive, with the sirens of the fire trucks in the distance. "Dean… when you were in that circle… did you… you know… see anything?"

"Not a thing"

A/N I know the final chapter was short but it just seemed to say it was done. Hope everyone has enjoyed. Havent decided if I am going to continue this particular continuity or not. My writing partner and I have a new story up, posted on her account, StrangeOblivion. Its called Abandoned. it's a cross over with Supernatural and Dresden Files. Check it out… not to mention her solo work is good too!


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